I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
