I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
