there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
