Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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