Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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