im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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