I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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