Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
