TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
