She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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