honey bunches of taint.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
