i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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