he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
