Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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