I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize