I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
