Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
