New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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