you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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