literally had 100 drinks last night.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
COCAINE IS GR8
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
