it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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