Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
