Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize