Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
