So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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