have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
