I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
