He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize