well I can't set my house on fire every night
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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