i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
