i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
