Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
