no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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