I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
