Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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