sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We left an ass print on the piano.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
