I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Is her dick bigger than yours?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Your penis caused this!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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