i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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