Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
