If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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