Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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