you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
