There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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