Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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