And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
