your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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