I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
