porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
