the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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