What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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