Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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