saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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