i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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