I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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