This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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