Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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