I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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