I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
