Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
