My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
the raccoons are back...
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