I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
