I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Someone came in the potted fern
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
